Life happens!

It’s been a particularly challenging year for me as I’m sure it has for many of you. My strength and endurance have been tested, by feelings constantly accosted, my faith questioned and my resolve frequently wavering. I’m learning that the difference between knowledge and understanding is experience. The snapshot of this year has seemed dismal to say the least but the operative word is seemed; because as I watched helplessly as the hurricane called life ferociously made its way through my circumstances that was all I saw. What life seemed like was my reality but the reality is that life happens to everyone. Life brings change and it comes in many different ways to everyone! In my ah-ha moment I awakened to the fact that just like death, Life does not discriminate who it happens to and how it happens but that one thing is guaranteed-Life happens. While many things have changed some things have stayed the same- I still love reality shows, I still have a love-love relationship with food, I still don’t give a rodent’s behind what anyone thinks about my life. In the grand scheme of things it hasn’t been such a hopeless year and while life may have dealt me a few blows of chaos, it’s gifted me with many moments of thankfulness. I am thankful for family, food, friends, music, health, food, family, music, (repetition intended) alone time, weekends and holidays, warm hugs, a genuine smile, a baby’s face, reality TV, the wind blowing through my bald head, humanity, family, food and the very gift called life. I wish you many moments of thankfulness- Happy Thanksgiving!

When it's all said and done!

I was sitting the other day and as is customary of me, my mind wanders to a place that leaves me wondering (no pun intended). I get to this place and I find myself writing my epitaph. I know this is quite macabre but my mind kept on wandering anyway, and what I wanted to write down was this: “Lived life fiercely, fearlessly and touched the lives around her in a profound way” When I “came to” I pondered on this for a moment  and decided to re-write it with the truth as it is today and this is what it read: “Cruised through life desiring much but doing little, wanted desperately to profoundly affect others and kept thinking of a big way to do it, liked living but gave many reasons why she couldn’t live in the moment, knew her passion and made many excuses not to live it” I compared the two footnotes of my life and what a world of difference, and in that time I knew that many things had to change so I made a choice to embark on this journey to consciously re-write my epitaph and this blog is one of the many first steps of my journey. I had toyed with blogging for a long time because I have always had a proclivity to express myself through writing; but I constantly thought- Who cares what you have to say?, It’s not going to be “interesting” enough anyway (whatever that means). I realize now that ‘done is better than good’ (second degree theft from a face book posting) and what I say does matter even though no one else may care to listen (well except for my kids and husband- they better). If you happen to be reading this now, I want to thank you for being a part of my many first steps, for helping to re-write my epitaph, and I hope as I bare my thoughts and feelings that I can in some measure impact your life even in some little way.